Amman, Jordan: The Beginning of the Very End

After three weeks of delay, I figured I'd FINALLY upload images and stories about my first couple of days and my time in Jordan. To make it easier on you, I will try and break it down into a few stages, since I know how much some of you enjoy my novels!

My first days in Jordan were spent sleeping lol. I was so exhausted from all my travels that I seriously just needed a a full day of sleeping and lounging around. I stayed with my amazing friend Rebecca for a few couple of days, and she was really nice and showed me around a few parts of the city. The most impactful experience from those days was ending up at a Palestinian Refugee Camp in Amman in near Jabaal Hussein. Seeing the contrast from the modern, shiny, semi-clean Amman to these little streets cluttered with trash, decaying veggies and crumbling homes definitely centered me.

My apartment here in Jordan is HUGE. For a college student apartment and studying abroad, it is actually really nice. I'll let you watch my "tour" instead of describing everything to you.

I have eaten so much amazing food since being here, and pretty much all of it has been relatively cheap. I can get the best Shwerma in town at Reems for 70 piasters each, and there is an abundance of hummus, falafel, and fresh produce stores all around my neighborhood. I'll have to take you on a little walking  tour of the area next time I think about it!

Our first ISA excursion was to visit the Citadel, which is situated in the heart of Amman. I have to say that Jordan is full of so much history and breath taking sights, and there are so many things I won't get to see in my short five weeks! Anyway, the Citadel literally gave me goose bumps. I could not believe that I was standing on so much history. Everything I had spent a year learning about suddenly came to life in the most profound and amazing way. Yes, I know that this only adds to my nerdy-ness, but for me, that's what I wanted to feel and experience while in Jordan.

School has been really great. I am taking two classes this semester--Gender in Islam (which for those of you who know me know that this is right up my alley of interest and passion) and Arab/Israeli Relations and Politics, another one of my strong passions. My gender class has been very interesting. Our professor is far from being a feminist, so it has been wonderful getting a different view on things. Plus, she is a practicing and well-versed Muslim, so anything that has to do with Islam she knows. I have learned all kinds of information about "Islamic feminism" and Islam and the gender roles within Islam.  My Arab/Israeli Relations and Politics course is a  bit more challenging. I LOVE IT! However, the hardest part is really delving deep into the history of the conflict. My professor does a great job of humanizing the conflict, but this still makes it hard to swallow it times. It is really difficult for me to sit through class and see images, numbers, statistics and facts that reiterate what I already know and believe. It is even more difficult for me to separate my disdain and channel it in a healthy way. The more I learn, the more I know that what the Israelis did to the Palestinians was wrong, and what they continue to do is even worse. There are so many facts that I am just learning about that make this conflict even more important to me, but what is painful to me is that there is so much that the American public does not know. The American government and policies and a wide number of citizens blindly follow this Pro-Israeli rhetoric and discourse without really knowing what is going on, without knowing both sides of the story, and without really critically analyzing all of the bullshit that our media and the government and the Israelis throw out there. Like I said, the most difficult thing for me has been fighting back this immense feeling of hatred. I do not hate the Jews, I do not hate Israelis. Let that be very clear. I do, however, hate the politics and the attitudes and the way the IDF and the military treats the Palestinians. I hate that the US supports Israel. I hate how Israel gets away with crimes of war and goes unpunished my the US and by most of the international community. I hate the unfairness of the game of politics. I know that these are strong convictions, but I can't help it. It is part of the experience I am living, and I am not ashamed to say what I think or feel. I am also not ashamed to say that this is a cause that fuels my passion, so anyone who wants to have a discussion or learn more when I get home, I would be glad to talk to you about it regardless of your standpoint or views. Just know that if you refuse to have an open mind, I'm going to make your life a living Hell, and not necessarily intentionally...  The last piece of information I want to share with you on this blog post is that since the beginning of Ramadan, I have been fasting. There have been maybe a handful of days where I have broken my fast due to traveling or my body being unable to handle the fasting, but for the most part, I have decided to partake in the fasting of Ramadan alongside my Muslim brothers and sisters. It's strange to say, but fasting has made me stronger. I feel like I have more control over myself despite the immense hunger and thirst that I feel sometimes. It's also really great because I feel truly immersed in my culture. I feel what everyone around me feels. I struggle with the same struggles. I am learning discipline, compassion, and patience. I am learning what the hungry and poor feel like on a daily basis, and makes me feel more responsible and more control of my life and my responsibilities towards society. I still have about three weeks to go, but so far so good!